Watch My Girlfriends!

Watch My Girlfriends!

Watch my girlfriend, when I am not available

WebCam Fun!

Interracial Cuckold

Interracial cuckold fantasies are far more common than we would like to imagine. They often but not always go hand in hand with small penis humiliation. The small dicked guys often have in mind the stereotype of the black man as having an unnaturally large penis. Yes, some do, but not all.

These men into cuckold know their penis is too small to satisfy the average woman, so they desire to see their woman really satisfied by a man with a huge cock. I recall one client that used to talk about how he wanted to see a woman fucked by a cock up to 16 inches long. I think it would be physically impossible, yet he was really into the big cock fantasies of black men and delicate white women. How he thought they could actually accommodate such a large cock, I don’t know, yet they like to envision it.

They like to think that ONLY a black man can satisfy a woman. That they somehow have something no white man can possess. They want to think that the saying, “Once you go black, you never go back…” is true. I guess for some women it is. Some have said a black man has an aggressiveness about him that most white men are lacking, a confidence.

I’ve never been with a black man, so I cannot say, it’s not for me, but some absolutely prefer white women. They have told me black women are much more shy sexually than white women, and they prefer fucking white women. So it’s not just white men that want to see the black guys with the white women.

WebCam Fun!

Tranny Dreams

Have you been fantasizing about a tranny to play with? Many guys do, it’s a very common fantasy. The number of guys that call about trannies and shemales is really on the rise. Also the number of guys I talk to that have gone out and hired shemale escorts is higher than you’d think. They do love the girls with a surprise.

It’s amazing to me they don’t view shemales as men, they really are though. If they were born with a cock, they are a man. I don’t care if they get breast implants and wear makeup and ladies clothing, to me they will always just be a guy in drag. Yet if they have a feminine face and slim build and can pass as a woman when made up, they do get the attentions of curious males.

Many guys have had a same sex experience in the past and found it extremely arousing and want to either relive it again or they think about the ones they had over and over again. Many guys want cock, but they are afraid to outright admit it, so what would be the next best thing? A girl with a cock! Tits, feminine face, long hair, nicely made up, but with a cock, everything you could want, right?

They are getting to explore their fantasies in sort of a safe way by going the tranny route. They can convince themselves they are with a girl, since they may look like a girl, but in reality it’s not a girl, it’s not really a man either though, it’s a weird combination.

It’s amazing the number of married guys that seem to gravitate towards the trannies, maybe they are more set in their ways than other men and may find it more unacceptable to be with a man that looks like a real man.

Secret Desires

Expressing ourselves sexually to our partners can sometimes be a point of stress if what we consider exciting is considered taboo or outside the norm in anyway unless we know our partners share those same interests.

A client I spoke to for hours last week that is heavily into the BDSM scene said his wife has no idea about his secret interest. He has sent me pics of women in cages and hoods and strapped to crosses and wheels and tied up with rope and all sorts of things,a and his wife apparently has no idea about his secret interests. He keeps everything in a rented storage locker and has things in boxes labeled with “Destroy upon death”, to spare her from knowing.

I can’t imagine if I was her going to the said storage locker after his death and not going through each and every box. But that’s just me. And honestly, I would be upset at such a find. So I hope he’s entrusted such a duty to a lawyer or something. They wouldn’t care or likely be curious, but a wife sure would be.

He has had a colorful past with slaves and submissives and this wife apparently is clueless to the entire situation. Makes you wonder how you can live with someone for 20 years and not know what’s really going on with them inside their head. He feels she’s too sensitive a person to be able to deal with the info though, so she’s been kept in the dark all these years. Let’s hope he gets his wish and has things go to the grave with him, but if he wanted to make really sure, he’d dispose of the items before he died.

Oh, God

What many find absolutely blasphemous is a mixture of anything sexual with religion. Ones that have Hierophilia however find it very arousing and are in fact very religious themselves.

A good client of mine was a church Vicar and used to LOVE when I would say Jesus Christ over and over, taking the name in vain. I myself am an agnostic, so saying it didn’t bother me, but to him it was wicked and forbidden to use the term in a sexual conversation.

There actually are baby Jesus butt plugs and ones that really do masturbate with with crucifixes and the like. Ones that get into this fetish often get so worked up during sermons, that the excitement is sometimes transferred to a sexual feeling. There are different types of arousal, and they can get confused for some individuals. The feelings of excitement, anticipation, and exaltation can take on a sexual feeling for some, and they want to experience that arousal and high they do during religious fervor in a sexual sense and seek to either have sex or masturbate in a religious environment like a church, which of course they know is forbidden.

For ones not religious, it is hard to grasp the connection, yet for some it is quite an attraction indeed. Imagine the sexual role plays with the man dressed up as the priest, and the woman dressed up as a Catholic school girl. Using a rosary as anal beads, oh my, all sorts of naughty scenarios can come to mind.

Indian Desires

This next topic I have pondered many times, yet it has been mentioned to me so many times, I know it’s no coincidence.  I have noticed nearly every client I have ever had from India wants to either fuck their mom, their aunt or their sister. It’s seems like a seriously fucked up culture to me in so many ways.

From what I have gathered, young people seem to be under real restrictions and are not allowed to date as they can in many countries. They seem to be in virtual lock down, so the young men are basically only surrounded by their moms, aunts and sisters, so their sexual thoughts seem to turn to them.

It is not like North American culture with the freedoms we experience. I have had many as clients and have chatted with many as well, and it is most of them, so this is not a few isolated examples by any means. I wonder if the mothers, aunts and sisters have any idea how the the son, nephew and brother are so deeply lusting after them as they furtively masturbate in secret, since privacy is also at a real minimum in this culture as well. Door locks are all but unheard of I have learned and they have almost no time to themselves without worry.

What is the matter with people? This cultural lack of privacy, and I know other cultures are like that as well, but it is specifically the ones from India I have so dramatically noticed this lusting after the women in the family. Heaven knows North American culture isn’t perfect, not by a long shot, and I also know plenty of guys here also long for mommy shall we say. But not to the extent the ones from India do.

Sadism

 

The term sadism comes from a very colorful character in history, the Marquis De Sade. He found great sexual pleasure in hurting and torturing others. Most of his staff would quit due to sexual harassment. He is quite a character to be sure. A prolific writer of pornographic stories, and this was in the 1700′s, imprisoned and committed to insane asylums for his ideas and treatments of others.

Many people today also really get off on sadism. The “S” in BDSM stands for sadism, named after our French bad boy. His relatives were embarrassed for many years to even be associated with such a man.

Some people love inflicting their power over others, power can be a very strong aphrodisiac. If both parties are consenting, that is fine, but this old boy loved to crack the whip on ones not wanting to play, which is abuse. You don’t go around hurting others. Some love to be abused those, they are the ones they should seek out the ones that crave pain and humiliation at the hands of another.

The movie 9 1/2 Weeks is a good cinematic example of an S&M relationship, not with violence though, with mental games and bit of spanking with a riding crop, nothing too severe, but still very much with the man in total control over the relationship. It’s a very erotic movie everyone with an interest in erotic movies should see. It can be very intoxicating to hand the control over to your partner, but you have to trust them to do this. But it can be very sexy indeed.

Masochism

True masochists love to be humiliated or have pain inflicted on them, sometimes by themselves even. Ones would wear a hair shirt to increase their own discomfort. Some men call me while wearing male chastity devices. They want me to arouse them since they know they cannot masturbate since their genitals are under lock and key. Some devices even have spikes or points on the insides so when the wearer becomes aroused they will further dig into their skin causing even more pain and discomfort. Some have even used floggers upon their own backs to inflict more punishment if they are lacking a master or mistress to punish them themselves.

Some masochists like to put themselves in the hands of a master and allow themselves to be collared and led around on a leash like an animal, showing the master their place of submission. To hand over your control to another, to give another control over your orgasm, can be a very exciting experience. To fully submit to another and give up all control, they know you will bend to their will and do as you are told to do. To feel as if total control is in the hands of another. The sense of humiliation at begging to be allowed to cum, begging for their cock. It can be very erotic.

Masturbation

I saw this funny pic online and knew I had to write about how religions, most of them anyway, are dead set against masturbation. The sad thing is, obviously the church that had that sign up was serious about its message that’s on it.

Most religions are still against sex outside of marriage, even when only with yourself. Even though no one is harmed, it is totally devoid of risks of disease, and even though medical Dr.’s recommend masturbation for sexual and physical health.

Men should have a minimum of 21 ejaculations a month for optimum prostate health. Keeps the pipes clean as it were. But the God fearing among us I guess would rather a man go to the grave with cancer, yet a pure heart that kept his body chaste. That is the way the to go according to them. Screw your health, be a good little follower instead. To think ones are against something as natural as sleeping and eating is incredulous in my eyes.

I cannot wrap my mind around such thinking in today’s world. When you think only 100 years ago, small children were being put to bed with their hands bound and wearing chastity devices to avert the evils of masturbation, it’s mind-boggling to be sure.

I can tell you this much, the day I’d be following the teachings of some old pedophile in a bed sheet and a pointy hat, there would be 20 moons in the sky. But this blog is about sex, not religion, so I’ll try and contain myself.

Nudity

Nudity is a taboo in many parts of the world. Think of how here in North America we have the freedom to wear skimpy things if we choose, and in other parts of the world, you would be stoned to death for it.

How women are treated in the Middle East are the worst examples on the planet of covering up. The women have no rights, and have to cover everything. Ones that don’t are arrested by the religious police. We are so lucky to have freedoms here.

Nudity has always been portrayed by artists, and some activities are more suitable nude than clothed, like swimming. It’s the most enjoyable way to swim for sure. In ancient Greece, the Olympic games were performed in the nude. Nudity is not always sexual, but many countries view it that it is, so all skin must be covered. Hence the beekeepers outfits the middle eastern women are forced into.

Yet men are not expected to adhere to the same standards. I will always remember in Disney World a family I saw in the scorching August heat. The husband and son were in shorts and a tee shirt, normally dressed for such a location, yet the wife/mother was in one of the beekeepers outfits and you couldn’t even see her eyes. I was in my teens and never forgot seeing that. The men dressed as everyone else, and her being kept like that. Nudity shouldn’t be punishable, if people want to be nude in areas like beaches, then let them. Not on buses or around kids, but within reason.

Teach me

It’s considered a bit of a taboo for one to have sex with someone that they have power over. A boss and an employee, a Dr. and a patient, a teacher and a student.

Remember years ago the case of notorious teacher Mary Kay Letourneau who had an affair with her student, had two children with him and then went to jail and ended up marrying him when she got out? Well, not all teacher/student affairs are quite so dramatic or well known about, but they do happen and frequently.

Imagine the forbidden excitement of sneaking around, fucking in the classroom after school, hoping no one would see. Blow jobs under the desk. I used to have a fantasy about going to a teacher to complain about getting a bad grade, and they said they could give me an A, if I was willing to fuck them and suck on their cock in return.

And of course I couldn’t let my parents know I’d gotten a D on an important exam, being the good little girl that I was, so I agreed to fuck the teacher for good grades and was treated like a good little slut in my school uniform and fucked bent over the desk with my plaid, pleated skirt pushed up over my hips. 

Needless to say, I got straight A’s from that teacher, and we never got discovered.

Drugged Sex

It’s a taboo thing to have sex with someone against their will. I’m not talking violent rape per say, but rather sex where the other person, usually the woman, is drunk, drugged or sleeping.

I have a client that likes to talk about the women getting fucked as they have been drugged. Totally vulnerable and unable to move. Personally, I don’t see why having sex with another person that is as limp as a rag doll and cannot participate is appealing, yet some do. Date rape drugs like rohypnol have been around for a long time, and a girl being passed out is no deterrent for a guy to have sex with you.

It’s kind of sad if they can’t get a willing woman and the only way they can get one is if they are drugged, but that is the case, or it wouldn’t be such a problem.

It’s kind of scary to think that someone would take advantage this way, yet they will, and you’re told to keep track of your drinks when you’re out so ones will not slip something into them that you’re not expecting. What has the world come to that people have no sense of decency.

If one is just sleeping, there’s a high chance they will wake up and protest and possibly escape the assault, but if drugged or drunk, not much chance. You would feel violated, yet not have the memory of what happened. Would be a very upsetting situation to find oneself in for sure.

Up Yours!

One taboo activity that gay and straight people both engage in is fisting. It was considered illegal to even show in porn. The stretching of the vagina and rectum is considered where the pleasure comes from, not so much the moving in and out motions.

It can be a risky activity unless one is gentle and uses lots of lubrication, since the tissues in the areas involved are easily damaged, and special care must be taken.

Some people fist themselves during masturbation, thought they have to be fairly thin and flexible to do so. It’s usually done by another person.

There are plenty of sex toys for fisting enthusiasts, that are molded off of real arms. They are big! I couldn’t believe some of the things I saw online, so there is a market for these things, and this is an interest shared by many. Some even use bottles for their fisting fun. You could get plenty stretched out from using a bottle on yourself for sure.

I have found men from England seem to be into this more than North Americans from calls that I have personally taken where they wanted to discuss this topic.

It’s not for everyone, but there are ones that derive enjoyment from fisting. There are many enthusiast sites online for just about every fetish out there, including this one. So get your lube out, not water based lube since it’s quickly absorbed by the body, and maybe some latex gloves and if you dare, explore the fetish of fisting to see if you like how it feels.

Stripping

Some consider stripping a taboo behavior. It has been around since the beginning of the 1900′s as we know it, and centuries before in one way or another, belly dancing as an example of another form of public dancing.

Men are very visual by nature and especially ones that do not have wives or girlfriends, going to a strip club is the only way they will be seeing a live woman in the nude. Live is always better than porn. They can certainly see lots of porn for free online, but a real, live nude moving woman, they may have to go see a dancer at a strip club to have a good look at one.

Most people at that time preached modesty, and it was considered scandalous for ones to be taking their clothes off in public for the sexual entertainment of usually drunk men. Most stripping was done in bars. Burlesque began in music halls, but the nude dancing we know and think of today began in bars, and really began to flourish during the first world war with he randy soldiers that wanted a good time that were far from home.

During the time of the sexual revolution, the stripping became more and more sexual, evolving from mainly topless, to full nude and the invention of the stripper pole took things to a whole new and acrobatic level. Many burlesque dancers were not thin or toned like dancers of today. They were womanly and voluptuous, and would never be able to heft themselves around like the dancers of today do.

Lap dancing is another off shoot that stripping has provided. Private dances and backroom shenanigans have always existed and many strippers do a lot more than strip if the price is right. It’s mainly a cash business and has a lot of shady individuals involved in it, including many times involvement with drugs and organized crime. Many porn stars are also involved as traveling strippers to help build fanbases.

By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Studies universally suggest that somewhere between ten and twenty percent of both men and women in committed, long-term relationships and marriages are sexually unfaithful to their spouse or significant other. Of course, in today’s world of social media, chat rooms, webcams, instant messaging, and instant pornography, the concept of “what defines cheating” can feel somewhat more malleable and significantly easier to deny than back in the day when cheating meant actually having live physical contact.

So what exactly does it mean to be unfaithful in today’s digital world?

Is a live physical interaction still required, or does a webcam encounter with someone half a world away count equally? What about pornography, or flirting with a sexually available woman on Facebook or through smart-phone apps like Blendr and Ashley Madison?

Let’s face it, for older individuals (say, the over 30 crowd), it’s a new and confusing world. That said, after two decades spent working with hundreds of betrayed spouses and their ultimately remorseful mates, the answer to the question of what defines infidelity remains as clear today as it was when Monica Lewinsky first stored away that stained little blue dress (for those who remember that story).

Infidelity can be defined simply as the breaking of trust that occurs when secrets are kept from an intimate partner. In other words, with sexual infidelity it’s the betrayal of relationship trust caused by consistent lying that causes long-term intimate partnerships to crack wide open.

Sadly, many men don’t realize how profoundly their secretive sexual behavior can affect the long-term emotional life of a trusting partner. And some would prefer to not know. When the occasional, shall we say, “more entitled” man enters sexual addiction treatment and loudly expresses in therapy that it is his God given biological, evolutionary-based right to have sex with as many women as possible, I will remind him of the following: “There is no rule saying you can’t have sex with as many women as you wish as often as you wish. However, if you are married or in a committed relationship, it is best for you to run your well-rounded sexual agenda by your wife/significant other before you act it out. If it’s OK with her for you to see a few hookers every week and have an affair or two, then it’s OK with me.”

In 20 years of clinical work I’ve not had many men take me up on this suggestion, but, sadly, I’ve had plenty who’ve left treatment to continue their infidelity in silence, all the while justifying their actions by blaming the very relationships they have dismissed through their own lies and secrecy. Often in these cases there is no behavior change unless the individual is threatened with potential partner loss or divorce.

 What Drives This Behavior?

Men who sexually or romantically cheat and then betray their relationships with lies and secrecy do so for a variety of underlying psychological reasons, the most common of which are listed below.

• He never intended to be monogamous, despite taking vows or making commitments to do so. He doesn’t understand his commitment to only be sexual with his significant other is a sacrifice made to and for the relationship. He un-empathically and/or resentfully sees monogamy more as something to work around than actually keep.
• He resents not getting enough love, adoration, appreciation, time, focus, etc. from a spouse who is likely juggling multiple priorities like kids and work. Often not fully aware of his own emotional needs, he begins to see prostitutes or begins affairs rather than being assertive in healthy ways and trying to negotiate what he needs and wants from his spouse.
• He wrongly perceives the early romantic and sexual intensity of his relationship as LOVE, not understanding that early relationship attraction is gradually replaced in healthy partnerships by longer-term attachment, commitment and relationship intimacy.
• He has a relationship or sexual addiction type of problem that keeps him distant from those close to him. He uses sex and romance to fill his own emotional emptiness.
• He wants to leave his current relationship, but first wants another one waiting in the wings.
• He is insecure about his age (young or old), his looks, his income, etc. He uses the affair or hookup in an attempt to prove his value, and to reassure himself that he is desirable and worthwhile.
• He is bored, overworked, or otherwise feels entitled to get something “special” just for him. He is excited by the mystery and intensity of a secret sexual/romantic life.
• He thinks that as long as no one finds out, he’s not hurting anybody.
• He cheats to retaliate against his spouse for a perceived or actual hurt. He finds an email between his wife and her ex-boyfriend from college, so he hires a prostitute to even the score.
• He has suppressed early trauma such as emotional neglect, physical abuse, or sexual abuse that leaves him unwilling or unable to be entirely faithful to a wife or partner. He strays away from intimacy with his significant other, turning instead to anonymous or intensity-based experiences as a distraction.
• He has unreasonable expectations of what his spouse should offer, expecting her to meet his every single need. When his spouse inevitably fails him, he feels justified in seeking attention elsewhere.
• He undervalues his healthy need to maintain solid, supportive friendships with other men, instead seeking to fulfill unmet emotional needs through sex and affairs.
• He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He is not mature enough to understand the effects that his word, once broken, will have on a loved one.

Truth and Consequences

It can be an incredibly painful experience to learn of a loved one’s cheating. While a man’s infidelity may reflect unaddressed problems in the relationship, it is more likely that he has lifelong challenges with relationship intimacy and deepening commitment—which are the kinds of issues that can often be successfully treated in good couples therapy.

If it turns out the man is a sex or love addict, as many cheaters are, he will need specialized individual treatment as well. Marital and couples counseling can for some turn a relationship crisis into a growth opportunity. Unfortunately, even when experienced therapists are extensively involved with people committed to healing, some couples are unable to ever regain the necessary sense of trust and emotional safety required to make it together. For these couples, therapy can help the two people involved to process a long overdue goodbye.

For All the World to See

It is taboo to have sex in public now.  Isn’t it?  They do have public indecency laws after all, so people aren’t fucking in the streets like animals, as some would decidedly do if the risk wasn’t there.  How many times a year do you read about some couple getting busted for fucking on a balcony of a hotel or an apartment building and many onlookers. Many have the exibitionistic streak in them, there’s no doubt about that.

A parking lot security guard once told me he was always chasing away couples that were fucking standing up against one of the brick walls in the parking lot, and there were used condoms around to prove it on the ground. Pity the person who had to dispose of them..Ick.

The thrill of being seen, of getting caught is half the fun for some of these people. Furtively having hurried sex so you get to cum before someone happens on by and sees you. Then you have the ones that do want to be seen and are doing it totally shamelessly right out in the open without a care in the world. It truly takes all kinds.

I have asked several of my guys where was a risky place they masturbated, and many gave public answers. Under a coat on a bus, under a blanket on a plane, a few have done the deed in libraries. There’s a lot of public sex going on out there! They are around if you look, believe me.

Gay Marriage

What is a common taboo that keeps coming up in the news? Gay marriage. As in should they have the right to be married like “normal” heterosexual people. Well, yes, they should. They are people, they pay taxes, raise families, why should they be denied the right to be legally bound by the vows of marriage if they wish to?

I cannot understand people opposed to this. What people do behind their closed doors if they are consenting adults is of no concern to anyone but the people involved. They are denied benefits, rights, all kinds of things because of this not being legally recognized everywhere. Some states and provinces and countries, only 4% of the world's population as of yet, allow gay marriages.

Pretty sad when people loving each other is considered a taboo, yet it is in most of the world for gay couples that just want the same rights as everyone else. So many people still consider homosexuality taboo in and of itself, let alone allow them to marry and have civil liberties like everyone else.

In many countries they still want to put homosexuals to death, they certainly don’t want them thinking they are the same as anyone else. There should be no “gay marriage”, there should just be marriage for everyone. Gay or straight, just marriage for one, marriage for all.

It’s amazing to me that arranged marriages still exist, which are so restrictive, yet marriage between willing partners is not allowed. I can’t grasp it.

Hey, Little Sister

Have you ever had naughty thoughts about a sibling? Well if you have, you’re not alone. Brother/sister incest is the most common type of incest there is, and it can be consensual. Most obviously want to keep it a secret for many reasons.

Incest of all kinds is a long standing taboo in almost all cultures. In royal families though, marriage between siblings was frequent to maintain the purity of the bloodlines. And even today, worldwide around 20% of all marriages are between cousins.

But this little blog here is about brother/sister incest. Imagine the clandestine excitement of consensual sibling incest in the same house as your parents, trying to avoid getting caught. Trying to avoid being heard, yet wanting to get off with each other as much as possible. Living for the weekends when mom and dad might be away and trust you two to be good alone in the house together. But they of course have no idea that you two will be fucking each others brains out from the time they pull out of the driveway until the key is in the lock to get back in…..

Naughty, dirty, sneaky kids. Worried your friends might find out. Masturbating like fiends when you can’t safely get access to each other, so touching yourselves when you can’t and imagining you’re touching each other. Yes, this is one secret that is best kept between the two of you forever. Not everyone will understand your special bond. There’s nothing like the love of ones own family.

Dead Zone

I think we would all agree a universal taboo would be necrophilia, yet it has gone on since the dawn of time. Even in the days of ancient Egypt and the mummies, ones that had access to the dead, the embalmers and undertakers were known to act inappropriately with the deceased at times. Ones with such an unnatural interest in the dead often gravitated to the funeral industry to get access to the bodies. And as we all know, dead men, and women, tell no tales, so their crimes against the dearly departed are seldom found out.

In many places it is a crime to sexually violate human remains, ranging from a misdemeanor to a felony. There is also porn done with corpses called necrophilia pornography, which obviously was done without consent of the dead ones in the pictures. 

Most necrophiliacs sought a partner that wouldn’t reject them, yeah, I think a dead person can’t really turn them down now, can they now…..Good Lord, there are some disturbed people out there.

Some have not been able to “let go” of a romantic partner and continued having sex with their corpse even after their death. It is a strange topic, and hard for me to understand that someone would do such a thing, yet it’s been going on  for many centuries. As lonely as we might get, I think it’s best to stick to the living or at the very least our own hand or a blow up doll rather than defiling the dead.

Swingers

Many look on the swinging lifestyle as a taboo activity. Many couple have issues with cheating of course, but most that run around on their partner do so behind their partners back.

Ones into swinging are actually being more honest, doing so with their partners permission. But too much honesty isn’t for everyone. Sometimes the illicit, secret fun is half the fun of an affair. If you’re doing it in front of your partners, that aspect of sneaking around on the sly and having your naughty little secret is gone.

Swinging has been around for centuries of course, mainly among intellectuals, and in North America became more widespread on of all places, military bases and spread outward. Since many military men faced an uncertain future due to combat and accidents, they became closer than the average co workers and many times pledged to take care of each others wives should they not return from war. So many military couples bonded as close friends and took things to a deeper level. I can understand how if you never knew if you’d be returning from a mission, perhaps you’d be more apt to engage in pleasures you otherwise might not.

The advent of the birth control pill also gave people a freedom from worry over pregnancy that made them more adventuresome.

There are many swinging clubs today, and many require full blood workups to join ensuring the ones joining are disease free, and regular testing is required as well. Society’s love of monogamy, even though not everyone practices it, makes people that openly swing a bit taboo according to many.

Jungle Fever

Many look at interracial relationships as a taboo. Well, not so much now, but only until very recently have many peoples outlook on this changed.

Even ones that are concerned with appearing politically correct, if it came right down to it, would they be fine if their white daughter brought home a black instead of a white?

Some women prefer black men, since black men can exhibit a confidence some white men can be lacking. And of course there’s the thought that black men have higher sex drives and larger penises to please a woman with. Some white men are looked on as weak. How many white men are wanting to see their women fucked by big, huge, black dicks? According to my callers I get, a good number. I have yet to talk to a black man that wants to see his woman fucked in front of him by a white guy though……

Some white men are just in awe of the physical power some black men have. The sexual prowess. They find it very intimidating, yet arousing to witness.

Many black women are non too thrilled to see the black men so taken wit the white women, since who does that leave them with? It is a point of contention for many black women that white women have taken over “their men”.

Some people will also just be the type to always be attracted to that with is sort of forbidden, something that will attract attention of others and make them be in the spotlight. That is just some peoples nature.

Want Some Cock?

A lot of guys might consider it a sexual taboo to admit they want to suck on another guys cock. And they do NOT consider themselves gay or even bi curious for the most part. Well I can personally tell you, there are a hell of a lot of guys out there who are craving just that.

My job is sort of like a therapist of sorts…..I hear all kinds of secrets, and the most common one I hear is how much many guys want to take a nice, hard, throbbing cock right down their throats.
Not so many into the fucking or being fucked by another guy, though I do hear that as well, but the desire to suck is very strong indeed. I’d say well over 1/3 to 1/2  I talk to want the taboo pleasure of giving a blow job. You would think most would want to GET a blow job, but no, they want to GIVE them instead.

Considering the level of homophobia present in today's society, this common, taboo fantasy really shocked me that it was as prevalent as it is. I was also surprised to hear how many have actually done it, even if it was just a one time thing years ago in their youth, many have indeed experimented and actually sucked cock at some point.

They would for the most part never reveal that to their wives or girlfriends unless they knew she was open minded enough to accept that sort of experimentation in their past, so they carry around their cocksucking encounters as their own little taboo secret.

Earn Your Red Wings

A subject many consider taboo is sexual contact with a woman that is having her period. Some don’t mind, a few even have a fetish for it, but many consider it a taboo topic they’d just as soon not bother with. They wait the 5-7 days and then resume relations once it is finished.

When someone says they have “earned their red wings”, it means they have had sex with a woman during her monthly menstrual cycle. The red wings come from the streaks of blood on the inside of the woman’s thighs from the pumping in and out.

I personally find it hilarious a major sports team carries this name, considering it’s meaning, and I’m sure anyone reading this will never hear of that team again without thinking of this topic.

I don’t get the big taboo, but to many as I said it is. True, a woman doesn’t feel her cleanest even if they wear tampons. You just don’t feel fresh. The thought of oral sex during your period is pretty icky to me, but intercourse, yes. As long as you come prepared with folded beach towels and hop in the shower afterwards, is it that big of a deal?

Many women can feel hornier during their periods, so they want to have an orgasm. I can personally relate to this. The only drawback I have found to having an orgasm during your period, is for a few hours afterwards, it usually increases the flow of blood. As the uterine contractions caused by an orgasm also increase the blood output.

As long as you shower afterwards and get in your super plus tampons, that should do the trick. I don’t get why some man would deny his lady sex just because she happens to be bleeding. It’s blood, it’s not acid, it will wash right off, nothing to fear! So for men out there who have “earned their red wings”, good for you for being there for your lady.

What’s In A Fetish? Maybe Not What You Think

By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Fetish, fe•tish noun: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may or may not be required for complete sexual expression

—Merriam Webster, 2012

 Sexual fetishes* are defined as recurrent and intensely arousing sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviors that incorporate specific roles and/or physical objects. Theses objects and roles are brought into one’s sexual life because they feel compelling to the individual and because they are a primary source of sexual arousal.

Involvement in and fascination with fetishistic sexual behavior lies on a continuum. Some individuals or couples may occasionally incorporate a fetish object or act to add a little spice into their sexual lives, while others are solely aroused by fetishistic behavior, finding sex to be neither interesting nor arousing without that element.

In other words, for some people fetishes are nonexclusive, meaning the fetish is only one element of a wider arousal pattern, whereas for others the fetish is exclusive, meaning the individual can’t become aroused without it.

While the majority of sexual fetishes are playful and harmless means of sexual arousal, some are also illegal, pathological and dangerous. This blog will focus on the less pathological, better-known fetish behaviors. In future blogs we will discuss more profound fetish related sexual pathology.

Some of the more well-known sexual fetishes are:

• Sexual behavior involving inanimate objects such as high heels, women’s lingerie, etc.

• Sexual behavior that incorporates “toys” such as dildos, vibrators, cock rings, nipple clamps, etc.

• A strong attraction to specific physical traits in sexual partners and/or porn “performers” such as body size (petite or chubby) or body parts (XL or XS sized breasts, penises, buttocks, etc.)

• Highly specific sexualized acts like those involving physical suffering and/or humiliation of oneself or one’s partner, also known as BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism)

Other relatively common sexual fetishes include arousal involving “water sports” (urination), coprophilia (fecal matter), cross dressing, attraction to contortionism, foot worship, verbal humiliation, body hair, skin color, armpits, amputations, leather, rubber, denim, cigars, perfumes, food, exhibitionism, voyeurism, frotteurism, transvestites, children, etc. Literally, the list is endless.

Putting terms and clinical labels aside for the moment, one simple way to understand a fetishistic attraction is to consider what it is like for most adults to have a “type” of person toward whom they feel more sexually attracted than others.

For example, Matt “likes” leggy blonde women—supermodel Heidi Klum might exemplify Matt’s type—whereas his brother Joe likes curvy women with large breasts such as actress Sofia Vergara. Joe’s friend Ramona reports being “totally turned on” by dark haired men with beards and long hair, while Ray’s boss Alan seems unable to turn away from his fascination with slim Asian women. While not fetishes themselves, but more preferences if you will, the concept of having a sexual type offers some insight into those with more profoundly fetishistic attractions.

To those who somehow think of sexual fetishes as solely a men’s issue… Wake up! The burgeoning Fifty Shades series of fetishistic erotic novels recently surpassed 10 million copies sold—and the primary buyers were adult women. In case you missed it, the trilogy’s male protagonist is a handsome BDSM enthusiast whose “Red Room of Pain” hosts numerous hardcore sex scenes. Many women do indeed exhibit strong fetish interest and behavior.

BDSM (as in Fifty Shades) is one of the better-known fetish experiences, even though most people don’t necessarily wish to experience it firsthand. But don’t let that fool you, as a significant segment of the population does find immense sexual satisfaction when engaging in a little bit of consensual spanking. In fact, the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom estimates that between 5 and 10 percent of American adults engage in sadomasochism for sexual pleasure on at least an occasional basis (with most incidents being either mild or staged incidents in which no real pain is involved).

And there is nothing clinically “wrong” with any of the above. Consensual sexual activity that lies outside the sexual bell curve or “norm” is not considered a crime, an addiction, or even a problem for most people.

The Internet: Destigmatizing the Misunderstood

In pre-Internet days, individuals with uncommon patterns of sexual arousal found it very difficult to connect with one another. Many of them felt as if they were sick or broken, as there were no easily accessible models or peer groups to validate their particular arousal pattern. Consider Charlie, a gay “chubby chaser”:

I always had a thing for big guys, right from the start. In school, we had this science teacher and he was huge. Huge! And I had such a crush on him. To me, fat guys are sexy, and the bigger the better. For a long time, though, I felt like a freak because gay culture told me that I was supposed to be attracted to the guys in tight jeans and muscle shirts—not the ones in caftans! I felt totally out of place, and also learned that the obese guys who turned me on felt that way, too. In fact, a lot of the guys I was attracted to told me that most evenings and weekends they just stayed at home, hiding, with no way for someone like me to meet them. But that was then. Today, thanks to the Internet, I can find like-minded friends and/or partners all over the world. It doesn’t matter where I live or who I know, I can go online and feel part-of, not alone, and not a freak. Nowadays I’m just another guy with “special needs,” if you will.

Virtually every fetish can now be discussed and experienced (both vicariously and in real life) via the Internet. The web today offers up pornography to eroticize nearly everything. More importantly, there are support groups that allow those with certain fetishes to meet, interact and share practices. No longer do people have to feel as if they are the only one aroused by this or that particular thing, or that there’s something wrong with them for having a different pattern of arousal than the average person.

But Aren’t Fetishes Psychological Disorders?

Most fetishes are harmless sources of sexual pleasure, play and physical intimacy. The vast majority of fetish behavior is NOT considered to be psychologically unhealthy as long as the person is accepting of his or her feelings and open to sharing those feelings with partners. It is far more likely that someone with a fetish will enter therapy due to the psychological stress, shame and confusion they feel about having or sharing these sexual feelings than because of an underlying mental disorder. And, in fact, we have little to demonstrate that an adult sexual fetish is in any way treatable.

Though someone’s ego-dystonic (unhappy) feelings about what turns them on them can be resolved, but (similar to sexual orientation) even the person sincerely dedicated to change his or her fetishistic arousal pattern is unlikely to succeed. While uncovering past trauma and coming to understand the cause of a particular arousal pattern may be of interest to some in the analytic world, insight is highly unlikely to make that arousal pattern go away.

As the political and social climate toward various non-pathological fetishes changes (thanks in large part to the Internet) so too does the medical/psychological climate. Thus, as time passes and society becomes inured to “uncommon” sexual fantasies and behaviors—by hearing about them in chat rooms and blogs, or learning about them through erotic sites, fetish apps, and elsewhere—such fantasies and behaviors are becoming less stigmatized, less pathologized, and more generally accepted.

There are of course many profoundly concerning, disturbing, illegal and pathological fetishes (child porn, exhibitionism, voyeurism, pedophilia, bestiality, etc.), and, as mentioned earlier, those will be addressed in future blogs. To quickly learn more basics about fetish behavior I suggest websites such as WebMd, AASECT.org , PositivePassions.com, and lovepanky.com.

Backdoor Bustle

To many people and in many cultures anal sex is taboo. So much so, in many countries, 36% of the world, it is still illegal.  Now how many are actually prosecuted, that remains unknown, as how many times is a law officer in the place where people are conducting such acts, not very often.
In strict countries, it is even punishable by death. The world is truly crazy to try and legislate what consenting adults do in their own bedrooms.

In the words of former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, “there’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation”. Too bad all countries don’t agree.

Men, many of them, adore anal sex, since even the loosest ass is tighter than the tightest pussy, right? It feels good for them. Some women feel the same, though it’s much more desired among men.

I talk to men around the clock about their sexual desires, and anal sex is one of the top topics mentioned as a desired thing to do. Many of their wives and girlfriends do not want this though, so most go without it, but it is very much craved, believe me.

Anal sex has an element of the forbidden precisely because it has been considered an unnatural act from biblical times.

Who knows how many have been imprisoned or even put to death for a merely sexual act when they have been charged and prosecuted for anal sex. Luckily most civilized Western countries have repealed many of the laws regarding this act so people can do as they wish with their sexual partners without worry of being charged with a crime.

Naughty Things

Difficulties with Trust

http://www.privateaffairs.com/trust.php

This topic was prompted by a question that appeared in the Philanderers' Forum. On 2 June 1999, "Totally" posted the following message:

"Is it possible for a man that has had a few affairs to ever be faithful?
I'm asking because I am now facing a long term relationship with him.
And I know I'm a hypocrite, cos I've been having an affair with him for the last 8 months. I just don't know how I feel about trusting him."

I suspect that the most popular answer from philanderers and from those virtuous folk who never have affairs would the same: Don't trust him! However, there is more than one route which can be taken to arrive at this conclusion. Let's consider some of the differences here.

Coming from a non-philanderer, the advice that Totally shouldn't trust her lover assumes that we all know what trust is. Moreover, it assumes that trust is an inherently desirable and even necessary quality in the relationship. Why, then, should it be that so many relationships (including that of the last eight months between Totally's man and his regular partner) are characterised by duplicity and betrayal? In the ideology of fidelity (in its late 20th century, Anglo-American form), this is explained through a simple division of the world's population into two groups: the good people (who can be 'trusted', are 'faithful', etc) and the bad people (who can't and aren't). In other words, trust is individualised: it becomes 'trustworthiness', the quality of an individual who is more or less capable and deserving of a Proper Heterosexual Relationship. In this view, Totally's lover is one of the bad guys, a man who can't and shouldn't be trusted. Is Totally herself also one of the 'bad guys'? Perhaps, though the high value she places on fidelity and trust suggests (according to the conventional view) that she might be a candidate for reform, perhaps contingent upon sincere repentance and a renewed commitment to her primary partner (if she has one). Taken to its logical conclusion, the non-philanderer's advice "Don't trust him!" must be heard as an bleak instruction to Totally to ditch her lover now while she still has a chance to redeem herself.

Now let's look at how a philanderer might approach the question of trust differently. This time, the answer "Don't trust him!" can be reached without assuming that we all know what trust is. It can also do without the assumption that trust is inherently desirable and necessary. Here, the important aspects of Totally's problem are differently emphasised. The questions are not "can he be faithful?", "can she trust him?", but "why would she want him to be faithful?", "why should she want to start trusting him - at least in this particular way?". While the non-philanderer is effectively saying "Don't trust him - he's a bad guy", the philanderer's advice can be heard as saying "Don't ruin a perfectly good relationship by bringing trust into it".

This is not an advertisement for open relationships. The official organs of open relationships (also known as polyamory: check out www.lovemore.com) counterbalance their sexual liberalism with an unusually heavy emphasis on notions of 'trust' and 'honesty' as the key to success. In a nutshell, the polyamorists take the moral high ground despite their liberal sexual practices by portraying themselves as even more trustworthy and honest than the boring old monogamists. They excuse their extramarital sexual adventures by placing them in a context of a carefully-negotiated marital arrangement which preserves and upholds honesty (in the form of confession) and commitment (sexual licence is bought at the cost of a renewed emphasis on staying permanently married).

The seasoned philanderer has no truck with such a philosophy. What the polyamorists miss, and what the philanderer knows is this: Trust is an over-rated virtue. One can find both liberation and security with a partner who is entirely untrustworthy.

Suppose that for the last eight months Totally and her man have been having a perfectly happy affair. What if the philanderer were to list the sorts of things that Totally might, in that time, have found to love about this relationship?

(1) The man has not promised to be faithful to Totally and so she is exempt from having to make the painful discovery that he has been cheating on her (a form of diplomatic immunity not shared by his primary partner).

(2) He has not vowed to live with her until death parts them and so she is exempt from ever having to deal with the unpleasant surprise of being suddenly deserted (again, his primary partner is not so lucky).

(3) He knows how to look after his own interests and personal happiness and has the initiative to conduct discreet extramarital relationships where this is an appropriate move for him. Thus, even if she were to become his primary partner, Totally is unlikely to find herself in a situation where she believes she has sole responsibility for entertaining her man romantically and sexually. This advantage is not to be underestimated. How many readers (especially women) know the burden of feeling solely and permanently responsible for their faithful partners?

Additionally, it is worth noting that Totally and her man know that the other is capable of lying - effectively and continuously for months on end, if necessary. Thus, as a couple they are released from the moral imperative to be honest with each other. This is a unique blessing. Perversely, in the rhetoric of Proper Relationships, honesty, as a performance of blunt truthfulness, is made equal to a loving concern for the emotional welfare of one's partner. Conversely, lying (including lying by omission) is equated with acting maliciously. This is strange, because in most cases of marital deception the opposite principle is demonstrated. We lie to our partners about our infidelities because we want to protect their feelings. Similarly, we conceal our thoughts whenever we find our partner unattractive or tiresome because to reveal those thoughts would be positively spiteful. We might go so far as to say that most marital lying involves telling your partner what they want to hear. Lying may be an essential ingredient in a successful marriage. If this is the case, Totally and her man are on the first step to a happy future. Because they know that they are both thoroughly untrustworthy, they are free to love each other with silences and fictions as well as kisses and confidences. They are free to care for each other emotionally without being compromised by principles of honesty or notions of accountability and guilt.

In short, the philanderer's version of the advice "Don't trust him!" can be heard as a variation on the old truism "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". Trust and fidelity are not presently ingredients in the relationship between Totally and her man. Indeed, since it has the status of an extramarital affair, it is positively distinguished by its lack of those traditional virtues. And so far, it would seem, the relationship has been going rather well. So, a seasoned philanderer might ask, why rock the boat? To introduce honesty and trust into the relationship now would surely be to usher in deception and betrayal at the same time.

A final comment remains to be made. Astute readers may be asking themselves on what grounds Totally can trust the philanderer's advice. How can anyone be sure that the philanderer's account of trust is not itself a lie or a kind of deception? The answer: you can't, or to put it another way, you don't have to. It could be a pack of lies (and probably is). Best not to be taken in. ©

Your Lover's Spouse

http://www.privateaffairs.com/your.php

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This article is especially for those philanderers who know how it feels to be the 'third party' in an affair: to be the lover of someone married or with a similar primary attachment. The question I want to consider is this. What might be your moral responsibilities, if any, to the wife or husband of the person with whom you are conducting the affair?

I recently conducted a small and informal survey of some of the people whom I know to have experienced this interesting moral dilemma. The overall feeling seemed to be that if the wife or husband is a close personal friend of yours then you should respect that friendship and stay out of a sexual relationship with their partner. However, if you have never met your married lover's spouse, then (I am told) you owe them nothing special and can proceed more or less without guilt.

The idea that you have a greater responsibility to the people you know has a certain intuitive appeal. However, I am not convinced that the argument stands up philosophically. To take an analogous instance, most people have a moral objection to robbing people's houses. Burglary is treated as an immoral behaviour pretty much without exception. Thus, burglars do not expect to be treated more leniently in court just because they have only ever robbed the houses of people they haven't been introduced to. This being the case, I am not sure that we can justify an extra callous attitude towards the cheated-on wife or husband just because you don't happen to know them at the time you begin sleeping with their partner. Surely, in the interests of fairness, the cuckolded spouses who are your friends and those who are strangers ought to be treated with equal consideration.

What then, should this consideration entail? Ask yourself: what are the minimum responsibilities you feel (if any) towards the husband or wife of your married lover if you have never met them - and perhaps don't expect to? The folk I asked tended to suggest the following as general guidelines:

(1) Don't entice your married lover to leave home; they may be cheating on their partner but that doesn't mean they want a divorce.
(2) Warn your married lover if you are carrying a sexually transmitted disease.

Of course, even these basic rules are debatable, but for the present purpose I will take them as the minimum conditions of moral responsibility towards the husband or wife of your married lover; a basic code of politeness if you will, which can and should be extended even towards spouses whom you don't personally know.

So far, so good. But we are now left with a morally interesting situation. If you are not going to extend special favours towards those husbands and wives whom you do know (in the interests of fairness, as I suggested above), then these two basic conventions of 'polite' affairs are all that can be expected from you. No matter who is involved. No matter if you are sleeping with your sister's husband or your best buddy's wife. No special treatment, no exceptions can be made, if we are not to find ourselves in the morally and philosophically untenable position of treating the people we don't know as though not having been introduced to us somehow made them more deserving of betrayal.

An across-the-board policy of (realistically achievable) moral responsibility towards the spouses of your lovers will do nothing to comfort those spouses who are also your relatives or close friends. However, it may lend the guilty third party a reassuring sense of integrity. As reported to me by my respondents, a similar sense of integrity may be achieved through a policy of truthfulness when directly questioned by the suspicious spouse of your married lover.

The rationale is something like this: It may be that the spouse knows that your lover is having an affair, but not know the identity of the third party. In this case, if the spouse is a friend or relative of yours, s/he is quite likely to ask you "Do you think X (your married lover) is having an affair?" to which you can truthfully answer yes. This reduces the amount of actual deception that is necessary and will allow you to play the 'integrity' card (for what it is worth) later on in the event that your cover is blown. For the same reasons, if the spouse asks you "Are you having an affair with X?", you should again give the truthful answer yes. You should bear in mind that if the spouse of your married lover asks you directly whether you are the third party in the affair, s/he probably already knows that this is the case. Your situation at this point cannot be improved by lying and you should demonstrate as great a fidelity to the truth as possible. On the other hand, if the spouse merely suspects that your lover is having an affair but does not know who with, s/he is unlikely to accuse you, just in case s/he is wrong. Here, you can be as truthful as you like because of the neglible likelihood that the spouse will be certain of which questions to ask.

There is a third issue pertaining to your moral responsibility towards the spouse of your married lover which is probably worth mentioning. Where the spouse is a close friend or relative of yours, it may be that both parties confide in you about their private lives and their relationship as a couple. I am advised that you should not assume a greater loyalty towards whichever member of the couple you are sleeping with. Do not make a mental note of everything the spouse tells you and report it to your married lover. In particular, if you learn that the cheated-on spouse is also having an affair, do not grass them up to your lover. It is not in your interests to force any kind of confrontation between the two of them. And the day may come when you would like to have an affair with the spouse who is currently left out. Do not assume that your lover will thank you for playing at romantic espionage on his or her behalf. You can trust your married lover less now than before you were sleeping together. S/he is a liability because s/he has information which can damage you.

Alert readers will have noticed that this third issue has less to do with the third-party philanderer's personal integrity and more to do with insuring oneself against the shit eventually hitting the fan. ©

The Hidden Truth About Casual Sex

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http://www.privateaffairs.com/casual.php

There is a certain disturbing truth about casual sex that is being kept very quiet. I want to introduce myself to this web site, and to you, by making that truth public immediately.
It is this: Casual sex is as near to 'authentic' and 'real' as sex can get. All other forms of sex are imitations of casual sex.

This, of course, is contrary to popular belief. The conventional feeling seems to be that 'real sex' is that which takes place between partners who are familiar with each other, committed to each other, who have had lots of practice having sex with each other.

People who uphold this view have, however, to deal with a couple of problems. If this kind of sex is the 'real thing', why the prevalence of masturbation and casual sex as practices? These practices, when played out by people who are in apparently happy, stable relationships, are the source of a good deal of distress to proponents of the conventional view, who feel 'cheated on' and are ardent in their failure to understand how something so 'cold' and 'arbitrary' could be 'better' than what is being offered at home.

There are not many explanations offered by adulterers and other infidels for the appeal of these practices. The most that is said is something about 'variety' and 'novelty' being a desirable and even necessary feature of a 'live' sex life. And, moreover, the infidel has to deal with a problem posed by the aggrieved partner: if married sex is 'boring' and 'samey', how is it possible for those hurt partners to maintain their own interest in marital sex? How do they manage to stay enthusiastic about it? This may often be a complete mystery to the infidel.

A possible answer suggests itself through theories of desire as a 'lack'. Taking the second question first, the reason that aggrieved husbands and wives manage to stay interested in marital sex is precisely because the infidel has lost interest in them. The possibility of wholehearted sexual union has evaporated, and so the conditions are created for the faithful partner to ongoing experience desire - in the form of sexual hunger, an absence - for their infidelitous partner. However, for the infidelitous partner, what started out as desire, in the early stages of the sexual relationship when the couple were still strangers to one another, was long ago fulfilled. Hunger satiated is hunger no more. In giving themselves to their partner, the faithful partners inadvertently extinguish the infidelitous partners' desire. The infidelitous partner, once satisfied, withdraws, and so desire is re-stimulated and maintained in the faithful. For the faithful partner, then, marital sex IS casual sex, in the sense that they are doing it with someone who is (once again) unknown to them, i.e. absent.

The answer to the first question now becomes apparent. Since the possibility of desire for the faithful partner has been extinguished, the sexually interested man or woman must look outside that relationship for new partners who are relatively unknown to them. These infidelitous relationships, because they typically feature people who do not know each other well and who are not committed to each other through emotional or domestic bonds, are both absent to each other and hence may experience desire for each other simultaneously - at least for a short while. This is what makes extramarital sex so exciting, particularly when both infidels are married.

The long-term prognosis for an extramarital relationship will also depend on each party's marital status. For example, a happy outlook may particularly characterize those extramarital relationships in which both parties are married. This is because when they are both married the fact of their dual married status makes them perpetually unavailable (absent) to each other, and so mutual desire can be sustained over time, even past the obstacles of knowing each other well, sheer repetition of the sexual act, etc, that can seem to destroy the pleasure of marital sex. When the third party is single, a different outcome may prevail. On the one hand, it may be the case that the married status of the infidel is sufficient to keep them both perpetually absent. However, on the other hand, a 'problem' for the infidel of relationships with an unmarried third party is the possibility that the single person will fall in love with them. The married status of the infidel creates ideal circumstances for this to happen to the single third party. However, for the infidel, the fact of his or her own unavailability or absence may not be sufficient to keep them from feeling that the extramarital relationship has turned into another marriage. The single third party who has fallen in love with his married lover has (against the 'rules' of infidelity) made himself over-available and 'present' and the opportunity for desire on the part of the infidel is once again extinguished.

Perhaps the most favorable prognosis for an infidel and a single third party is when the third party loses interest in the infidel (not through the simple satiation of desire but for some other reason - eg through the suppression of sexual appetite with drugs, through an apparently better offer from someone else, or whatever). The third party then becomes absent to the infidel in the same way that the infidel is absent to the faithful partner, and so desire - at least on the part of the infidel - can be sustained.

Infidels who experience great desire for their lovers - especially the 'absent' single lover - will know that masturbation and marital sex become imitations of the 'casual' sex experienced in the extramarital relationship.

Casual sex and 'serious' (marital) sex may share many of the same conventions in terms of actual sexual practices - words uttered, gestures performed. These words and gestures are assumed to have something to do with 'love' and so when they are performed in the context of casual sex, they look like a masquerade - an attempt to recreate the 'authentic' experience of 'real' sex. But the notion that these words and gestures have to do with love is a political notion, emergent from a system of political thought about relationships that dictates (eg) that affection arises from mutual knowledge and familiarity, that sex is somehow the 'deepest' and 'closest' act that can take place between two people who already have affiliative and economic investments in one another. However, there is another possibility (which is, of course, also political, but in a different way). This possibility is that the words and gestures of sexual practice have to do with desire - with searching, hungering, needing - in short, with the pursuit of something that is not there (whether not yet there, or withdrawn). If this is the case - if conventional sexual practices have to do with desire and not love, then when they are performed in the context of a marriage or other 'stable, loving' relationship, they look like a masquerade - an attempt to recreate the more authentic experience of 'casual' sex.

There is some corroboration for this thesis in the observation that, on the whole, people's sexual fantasies do not seem to be fantasies about familiarity and emotional commitment. They do not involve the words 'I love you' and they do not feature people running hand in hand through fields of wild flowers. More often (if the psychological literature is to be believed), they involve rape and other kinds of abuse, masked strangers, animals, and all manner of characters and scenes that violate conventional understandings of what real love (and real loving sex) ought to look like. When it comes to fantasies used not in masturbation but in marital sex, even the most faithful partners will admit to fantasizing about someone else - usually someone paradigmatically unknown to them, such as celebrities - and the infidels will, of course, fantasize about their lovers.

Further support for the thesis that casual sex is the 'real thing' is found in the techniques that married couples use to try and 'put the romance back' into a routine sex life. Faced with the satiation of desire on both sides, they begin to play outlandish games, adopt different sexual roles, dress up in costumes that make them look like children or prostitutes. This is entirely recognizable in terms of a theory of desire - what they are doing is trying to make themselves strangers - absences - to each other once again. However, in terms of a traditional theory of love, these very usual practices are problematic. According to the conventional wisdom about loving sex, there should be no need to 'spice up your sex life' in the first place, and certainly no need to do it in such a way that actively alienates the partners from one another.

This problem may be dealt with and rationalized in terms of a loving married couple becoming 'adventurous' together. A progressive, up-the-mountain account may be produced in which the married couple is depicted as going on a journey of discovery into the depths of each other's sexuality, doing and learning things that are positively enabled by their enduring familiarity with each other and the longevity of their relationship and mutual commitment. This may be a comforting thought to those anxious to hold on to traditional notions of love, but it is not very plausible, given what I have already said about the tendency of these practices to resemble and recreate alienating, anonymous and even abusive sexual situations. What they are actually doing is trying to re-stimulate desire by imitating casual sex. It is, of course, no substitute for the real thing.   ©

Primary

In the polyamory lovestyle, some people have chosen to give their multiple romantic interests titles, such as primary, secondary & tertiary.  The primary is usually the partner that you have the deeper history or perhaps the one you live with, such as your wife.  The others are "girlfriends".

I do not follow this philosophy.  To be a primary partner is the person you are most focused on at any particular moment.  They are the most important.  They are whom all your time & energy is connected.  Therefore, when you visit me, you become my primary partner.  When you stand before me, you are the most important thing in my world.

Naughty Things Top 20

Fellow Philanderer Caught in the Act!!! Technology strikes again!

http://www.privateaffairs.com/caught.php

Dear Readers,
I received a very disturbing e-mail a while ago from a former followerof The Philanderer's Homepage. It would seem that this unfortunate fellow had bookmarked The Philanderer's Homepage on his www browser on the home computer. Unbeknown to him, his wife was surfing the net while he was at work and decided to checkout her husband's hot list. Unfortunately The Philanderer's Homepage was disastrously easy for his wife to find.

She had absolutely no suspicion of his extramarital affair before finding The Philanderer's Homepage. He had no idea of her discovery.

She didn't confront him right away with her knowledge of The Philanderer's Homepage. As her suspicions were raised due to her "discovery", she began to take note of her husband's habit's. At the first sign of a slip-up, she went for the kill.

The slip-up you ask? Read on.

She was waiting up for him after he had told her that he would be working late. He had told her that he didn't know how late he would be and not to stay up as it could be after midnight before he got home. Around 10:30 P.M. she called his work. No Answer. She then phoned her husband's work colleague who is also in the same department. His colleague was at home and had no knowledge of her husband having to work late.

When he arrived home she met him at the door, and remained as calm and collected as she could. As he was taking off his coat, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big smooch. She then asked why he had alcohol on his breath. He turned red, stammered a bit, but was unable to come up with an immediate answer. She then asked why he didn't answer the phone when she called his office. Again he was unable to immediately answer her question. She then asked him about the perfume smell on his shirt. At that point he thought he was busted. Assuming she knew what was going on, he confessed on the spot.

Be advised folks, this information contained in this webpage can be used against you. If your significant other was to come across this page, they will know what to watch for. Life as you now know it may come to an abrupt end.
For your own safety, unless you are the only one who has access to your computer, Don't bookmark this webpage!
The title as it appears on your hotlist may look harmless but the contents can bury you!!!
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How to Make a Girl Squirt

There are many ways to make a girls squirt, and all is needed are fingers and oral job. The best advice is to try with exploration in different things, different numbers of fingers, different parts of her pussy and ass. Most important is to be innovative and inventive.

Surely, some of the best fingering comes in conjunction with oral, but there is a little secret that gives to any women best orgasm of her life.

Here are step by step instructions how to make a girl squirt:

You can start by performing oral on her inner thighs, clitoris and labia especially, to start getting her relaxed and wet. You must continually suck and lick the clitoris throughout the duration of the whole oral act, because oral increases power, pleasure and increases chances of female ejaculating orgasm.

With the hand you write with, take two fingers closest to your thumb (pointer and middle finger) and make them wet with her pussy juice or with your mouth. The most important thing is to make sure your nails are trimmed and not sharp, because you could hurt her.

Slide those two fingers in, with the fingerprint part of the fingers facing up (nails down), slide them in firmly but slowly, as far as they will go without using too much pressure. If she is really tight you may need to start with one, and if there is a lot of wetness but resistance, you may need to tease and taste her pussy some more. Once you get those fingers in, tease her inner walls slowly with the pads of your fingers, and get her even more juicy. When you think that she is ready to have the orgasm of her life, you may begin:

  1. Now you will maneuver your fingers to find her g-spot. Yes, it exists, and yes, every woman has one. Slide your fingers in about 2 inches, UP, and then BACK towards the front of the pussy (like you’re going up behind her clitty). Her g-spot is actually a patch of her inner walls which is on the FRONT INNER WALL of her pussy, above the hole itself. So, in, up, and back towards the entrance. You should feel, on that wall, a very rough patch of skin – rougher than the rest of her smooth inner pussy. You’ve found it. Congratulations.

  2. By making a beckoning motion with your two fingers (a come hither, bending fingers motion), you should be able to pull the fingerprint/pad part of the tips of your two fingers against that spot. Try it. Pull back against it with your two fingers and press a little. Tease it, stimulate it with your fingers. Make her feel good. She should be squirming and breathing very heavily by now.

  3. As you start to rhythmically tap/press/pull your fingertips against the g-spot, she should start getting wetter. If you’re doing it right, and she’s comfortable with it, you’ll start to hear squelching, sponge-like sounds. The g-spot is like a sponge, it contains a lot of liquid, and feels rough. Keep pressing your fingers against it, over and over, rhythmically, with the same kind of rhythm as if you were sliding your cock in and out of her pussy.

  4. As she starts to get wetter, and enjoy it more, start doing it harder. The more she thrashes from side to side, the harder you do it. Eventually, you can replace the tapping/poking of the g-spot with an outright speed-sliding of those two fingers in and out of her hole. Do it faster and faster, maintain the rhythm, but increase the force. Even when you’re slamming them straight in and out of her hole, try and maintain an upward, outward force with the fingertips, so you’re still pressing up against that g-spot even as you’re slamming her with your fingers with reckless abandon.

  5. Through all of this, she should be squelching, squirming and OBVIOUSLY loving it. If she’s not, you should stop. If she says it hurts (especially if she says it more than once, you might want to stop or at LEAST slow down or not do it so hard. Make sure she’s always wet – not dry for any period of time.

  6. Now here’s the crucial part. When she gets close to ejaculation, she will say that she needs to pee. SHE DOES NOT NEED TO PEE. It’s just a temporary sensation that will pass, but you have to make sure she knows about it beforehand, and you have to make sure she does not stop you, and you do not desist in your slamming. Hold her legs apart with the other hand, if you have to. You can even use your head or knees or whatever to hold her legs open, but make sure she stays relatively still (or she might get hurt on your fingers) and that you KEEP GOING. In fact, when she needs to pee, that’s when you should start doing it harder, cause orgasm is around the corner.

  7. 10-50 seconds after the pee sensation begins, she will start to cum. When she does, DON’T STOP. Just do it harder and harder and harder, pressuring the g-spot upwards all the while. Now she should start to ejaculate. She’ll scream, and her pussy will start shooting clear (transparent), odorless liquid all over the place. There could be a lot of it, it might soak you completely and soak the sheets and everything around her, so make sure you’re prepared.

I guarantee you, if she’s never had one before, the squirting orgasm will be the best orgasm of her life. In my experience, 97% of women are capable of having them, and in certain circumstances, I think it’s more like 99.9%. If you want her to ejaculate in great volumes, have her drink lots of water before you do it, and stay well hydrated. Once she’s finished squirting, SHE CAN SQUIRT AGAIN. Especially if you didn’t do it too hard, and still got her to cum, you can usually start all over, and between one and ten minutes later, she’ll be squirting again. Usually, you have to do it harder each time. My record is seven. The girl that squirted seven times in 45 minutes passed out for 6 hours afterwards (it’s physically exhausting and dehydrating) so be careful if you try more than 2 at once.

Most girls pass out after a couple of them. This can make a girl fall in love and at the very least want to fuck your brains out, so use it wisely rather than to your advantage. Don’t take advantage of people using this. If you do it wrong, or if she’s on her period, she might bleed. That’s usually okay, but just make sure you don’t hurt her, and you stop if she’s screaming with pain, rather than pleasure.

You should always have a safe word with your partner, and you should always make sure she knows what you intend to do and that she’s fine with it. Enjoy this, and I hope it works out for you; I hope it works out for HER, even more so. If it does… well, just wait and see. I’m jealous of women because of g-spot orgasms! There’s NO male equivalent – it’s just absolute ecstasy, nothing less. Remember there are at least fifty ways to make a woman cum (actually lots more) and at least five different types of orgasms so don’t limit yourselves to this whether it works or not.

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Men-s-Erotica-2915/2008/4/GIRL-SQUIRT.htm