Oh, God

What many find absolutely blasphemous is a mixture of anything sexual with religion. Ones that have Hierophilia however find it very arousing and are in fact very religious themselves.

A good client of mine was a church Vicar and used to LOVE when I would say Jesus Christ over and over, taking the name in vain. I myself am an agnostic, so saying it didn’t bother me, but to him it was wicked and forbidden to use the term in a sexual conversation.

There actually are baby Jesus butt plugs and ones that really do masturbate with with crucifixes and the like. Ones that get into this fetish often get so worked up during sermons, that the excitement is sometimes transferred to a sexual feeling. There are different types of arousal, and they can get confused for some individuals. The feelings of excitement, anticipation, and exaltation can take on a sexual feeling for some, and they want to experience that arousal and high they do during religious fervor in a sexual sense and seek to either have sex or masturbate in a religious environment like a church, which of course they know is forbidden.

For ones not religious, it is hard to grasp the connection, yet for some it is quite an attraction indeed. Imagine the sexual role plays with the man dressed up as the priest, and the woman dressed up as a Catholic school girl. Using a rosary as anal beads, oh my, all sorts of naughty scenarios can come to mind.

Indian Desires

This next topic I have pondered many times, yet it has been mentioned to me so many times, I know it’s no coincidence.  I have noticed nearly every client I have ever had from India wants to either fuck their mom, their aunt or their sister. It’s seems like a seriously fucked up culture to me in so many ways.

From what I have gathered, young people seem to be under real restrictions and are not allowed to date as they can in many countries. They seem to be in virtual lock down, so the young men are basically only surrounded by their moms, aunts and sisters, so their sexual thoughts seem to turn to them.

It is not like North American culture with the freedoms we experience. I have had many as clients and have chatted with many as well, and it is most of them, so this is not a few isolated examples by any means. I wonder if the mothers, aunts and sisters have any idea how the the son, nephew and brother are so deeply lusting after them as they furtively masturbate in secret, since privacy is also at a real minimum in this culture as well. Door locks are all but unheard of I have learned and they have almost no time to themselves without worry.

What is the matter with people? This cultural lack of privacy, and I know other cultures are like that as well, but it is specifically the ones from India I have so dramatically noticed this lusting after the women in the family. Heaven knows North American culture isn’t perfect, not by a long shot, and I also know plenty of guys here also long for mommy shall we say. But not to the extent the ones from India do.

Sadism

 

The term sadism comes from a very colorful character in history, the Marquis De Sade. He found great sexual pleasure in hurting and torturing others. Most of his staff would quit due to sexual harassment. He is quite a character to be sure. A prolific writer of pornographic stories, and this was in the 1700′s, imprisoned and committed to insane asylums for his ideas and treatments of others.

Many people today also really get off on sadism. The “S” in BDSM stands for sadism, named after our French bad boy. His relatives were embarrassed for many years to even be associated with such a man.

Some people love inflicting their power over others, power can be a very strong aphrodisiac. If both parties are consenting, that is fine, but this old boy loved to crack the whip on ones not wanting to play, which is abuse. You don’t go around hurting others. Some love to be abused those, they are the ones they should seek out the ones that crave pain and humiliation at the hands of another.

The movie 9 1/2 Weeks is a good cinematic example of an S&M relationship, not with violence though, with mental games and bit of spanking with a riding crop, nothing too severe, but still very much with the man in total control over the relationship. It’s a very erotic movie everyone with an interest in erotic movies should see. It can be very intoxicating to hand the control over to your partner, but you have to trust them to do this. But it can be very sexy indeed.

Masochism

True masochists love to be humiliated or have pain inflicted on them, sometimes by themselves even. Ones would wear a hair shirt to increase their own discomfort. Some men call me while wearing male chastity devices. They want me to arouse them since they know they cannot masturbate since their genitals are under lock and key. Some devices even have spikes or points on the insides so when the wearer becomes aroused they will further dig into their skin causing even more pain and discomfort. Some have even used floggers upon their own backs to inflict more punishment if they are lacking a master or mistress to punish them themselves.

Some masochists like to put themselves in the hands of a master and allow themselves to be collared and led around on a leash like an animal, showing the master their place of submission. To hand over your control to another, to give another control over your orgasm, can be a very exciting experience. To fully submit to another and give up all control, they know you will bend to their will and do as you are told to do. To feel as if total control is in the hands of another. The sense of humiliation at begging to be allowed to cum, begging for their cock. It can be very erotic.

Masturbation

I saw this funny pic online and knew I had to write about how religions, most of them anyway, are dead set against masturbation. The sad thing is, obviously the church that had that sign up was serious about its message that’s on it.

Most religions are still against sex outside of marriage, even when only with yourself. Even though no one is harmed, it is totally devoid of risks of disease, and even though medical Dr.’s recommend masturbation for sexual and physical health.

Men should have a minimum of 21 ejaculations a month for optimum prostate health. Keeps the pipes clean as it were. But the God fearing among us I guess would rather a man go to the grave with cancer, yet a pure heart that kept his body chaste. That is the way the to go according to them. Screw your health, be a good little follower instead. To think ones are against something as natural as sleeping and eating is incredulous in my eyes.

I cannot wrap my mind around such thinking in today’s world. When you think only 100 years ago, small children were being put to bed with their hands bound and wearing chastity devices to avert the evils of masturbation, it’s mind-boggling to be sure.

I can tell you this much, the day I’d be following the teachings of some old pedophile in a bed sheet and a pointy hat, there would be 20 moons in the sky. But this blog is about sex, not religion, so I’ll try and contain myself.

Nudity

Nudity is a taboo in many parts of the world. Think of how here in North America we have the freedom to wear skimpy things if we choose, and in other parts of the world, you would be stoned to death for it.

How women are treated in the Middle East are the worst examples on the planet of covering up. The women have no rights, and have to cover everything. Ones that don’t are arrested by the religious police. We are so lucky to have freedoms here.

Nudity has always been portrayed by artists, and some activities are more suitable nude than clothed, like swimming. It’s the most enjoyable way to swim for sure. In ancient Greece, the Olympic games were performed in the nude. Nudity is not always sexual, but many countries view it that it is, so all skin must be covered. Hence the beekeepers outfits the middle eastern women are forced into.

Yet men are not expected to adhere to the same standards. I will always remember in Disney World a family I saw in the scorching August heat. The husband and son were in shorts and a tee shirt, normally dressed for such a location, yet the wife/mother was in one of the beekeepers outfits and you couldn’t even see her eyes. I was in my teens and never forgot seeing that. The men dressed as everyone else, and her being kept like that. Nudity shouldn’t be punishable, if people want to be nude in areas like beaches, then let them. Not on buses or around kids, but within reason.

Teach me

It’s considered a bit of a taboo for one to have sex with someone that they have power over. A boss and an employee, a Dr. and a patient, a teacher and a student.

Remember years ago the case of notorious teacher Mary Kay Letourneau who had an affair with her student, had two children with him and then went to jail and ended up marrying him when she got out? Well, not all teacher/student affairs are quite so dramatic or well known about, but they do happen and frequently.

Imagine the forbidden excitement of sneaking around, fucking in the classroom after school, hoping no one would see. Blow jobs under the desk. I used to have a fantasy about going to a teacher to complain about getting a bad grade, and they said they could give me an A, if I was willing to fuck them and suck on their cock in return.

And of course I couldn’t let my parents know I’d gotten a D on an important exam, being the good little girl that I was, so I agreed to fuck the teacher for good grades and was treated like a good little slut in my school uniform and fucked bent over the desk with my plaid, pleated skirt pushed up over my hips. 

Needless to say, I got straight A’s from that teacher, and we never got discovered.

Drugged Sex

It’s a taboo thing to have sex with someone against their will. I’m not talking violent rape per say, but rather sex where the other person, usually the woman, is drunk, drugged or sleeping.

I have a client that likes to talk about the women getting fucked as they have been drugged. Totally vulnerable and unable to move. Personally, I don’t see why having sex with another person that is as limp as a rag doll and cannot participate is appealing, yet some do. Date rape drugs like rohypnol have been around for a long time, and a girl being passed out is no deterrent for a guy to have sex with you.

It’s kind of sad if they can’t get a willing woman and the only way they can get one is if they are drugged, but that is the case, or it wouldn’t be such a problem.

It’s kind of scary to think that someone would take advantage this way, yet they will, and you’re told to keep track of your drinks when you’re out so ones will not slip something into them that you’re not expecting. What has the world come to that people have no sense of decency.

If one is just sleeping, there’s a high chance they will wake up and protest and possibly escape the assault, but if drugged or drunk, not much chance. You would feel violated, yet not have the memory of what happened. Would be a very upsetting situation to find oneself in for sure.

Up Yours!

One taboo activity that gay and straight people both engage in is fisting. It was considered illegal to even show in porn. The stretching of the vagina and rectum is considered where the pleasure comes from, not so much the moving in and out motions.

It can be a risky activity unless one is gentle and uses lots of lubrication, since the tissues in the areas involved are easily damaged, and special care must be taken.

Some people fist themselves during masturbation, thought they have to be fairly thin and flexible to do so. It’s usually done by another person.

There are plenty of sex toys for fisting enthusiasts, that are molded off of real arms. They are big! I couldn’t believe some of the things I saw online, so there is a market for these things, and this is an interest shared by many. Some even use bottles for their fisting fun. You could get plenty stretched out from using a bottle on yourself for sure.

I have found men from England seem to be into this more than North Americans from calls that I have personally taken where they wanted to discuss this topic.

It’s not for everyone, but there are ones that derive enjoyment from fisting. There are many enthusiast sites online for just about every fetish out there, including this one. So get your lube out, not water based lube since it’s quickly absorbed by the body, and maybe some latex gloves and if you dare, explore the fetish of fisting to see if you like how it feels.

Stripping

Some consider stripping a taboo behavior. It has been around since the beginning of the 1900′s as we know it, and centuries before in one way or another, belly dancing as an example of another form of public dancing.

Men are very visual by nature and especially ones that do not have wives or girlfriends, going to a strip club is the only way they will be seeing a live woman in the nude. Live is always better than porn. They can certainly see lots of porn for free online, but a real, live nude moving woman, they may have to go see a dancer at a strip club to have a good look at one.

Most people at that time preached modesty, and it was considered scandalous for ones to be taking their clothes off in public for the sexual entertainment of usually drunk men. Most stripping was done in bars. Burlesque began in music halls, but the nude dancing we know and think of today began in bars, and really began to flourish during the first world war with he randy soldiers that wanted a good time that were far from home.

During the time of the sexual revolution, the stripping became more and more sexual, evolving from mainly topless, to full nude and the invention of the stripper pole took things to a whole new and acrobatic level. Many burlesque dancers were not thin or toned like dancers of today. They were womanly and voluptuous, and would never be able to heft themselves around like the dancers of today do.

Lap dancing is another off shoot that stripping has provided. Private dances and backroom shenanigans have always existed and many strippers do a lot more than strip if the price is right. It’s mainly a cash business and has a lot of shady individuals involved in it, including many times involvement with drugs and organized crime. Many porn stars are also involved as traveling strippers to help build fanbases.

By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Studies universally suggest that somewhere between ten and twenty percent of both men and women in committed, long-term relationships and marriages are sexually unfaithful to their spouse or significant other. Of course, in today’s world of social media, chat rooms, webcams, instant messaging, and instant pornography, the concept of “what defines cheating” can feel somewhat more malleable and significantly easier to deny than back in the day when cheating meant actually having live physical contact.

So what exactly does it mean to be unfaithful in today’s digital world?

Is a live physical interaction still required, or does a webcam encounter with someone half a world away count equally? What about pornography, or flirting with a sexually available woman on Facebook or through smart-phone apps like Blendr and Ashley Madison?

Let’s face it, for older individuals (say, the over 30 crowd), it’s a new and confusing world. That said, after two decades spent working with hundreds of betrayed spouses and their ultimately remorseful mates, the answer to the question of what defines infidelity remains as clear today as it was when Monica Lewinsky first stored away that stained little blue dress (for those who remember that story).

Infidelity can be defined simply as the breaking of trust that occurs when secrets are kept from an intimate partner. In other words, with sexual infidelity it’s the betrayal of relationship trust caused by consistent lying that causes long-term intimate partnerships to crack wide open.

Sadly, many men don’t realize how profoundly their secretive sexual behavior can affect the long-term emotional life of a trusting partner. And some would prefer to not know. When the occasional, shall we say, “more entitled” man enters sexual addiction treatment and loudly expresses in therapy that it is his God given biological, evolutionary-based right to have sex with as many women as possible, I will remind him of the following: “There is no rule saying you can’t have sex with as many women as you wish as often as you wish. However, if you are married or in a committed relationship, it is best for you to run your well-rounded sexual agenda by your wife/significant other before you act it out. If it’s OK with her for you to see a few hookers every week and have an affair or two, then it’s OK with me.”

In 20 years of clinical work I’ve not had many men take me up on this suggestion, but, sadly, I’ve had plenty who’ve left treatment to continue their infidelity in silence, all the while justifying their actions by blaming the very relationships they have dismissed through their own lies and secrecy. Often in these cases there is no behavior change unless the individual is threatened with potential partner loss or divorce.

 What Drives This Behavior?

Men who sexually or romantically cheat and then betray their relationships with lies and secrecy do so for a variety of underlying psychological reasons, the most common of which are listed below.

• He never intended to be monogamous, despite taking vows or making commitments to do so. He doesn’t understand his commitment to only be sexual with his significant other is a sacrifice made to and for the relationship. He un-empathically and/or resentfully sees monogamy more as something to work around than actually keep.
• He resents not getting enough love, adoration, appreciation, time, focus, etc. from a spouse who is likely juggling multiple priorities like kids and work. Often not fully aware of his own emotional needs, he begins to see prostitutes or begins affairs rather than being assertive in healthy ways and trying to negotiate what he needs and wants from his spouse.
• He wrongly perceives the early romantic and sexual intensity of his relationship as LOVE, not understanding that early relationship attraction is gradually replaced in healthy partnerships by longer-term attachment, commitment and relationship intimacy.
• He has a relationship or sexual addiction type of problem that keeps him distant from those close to him. He uses sex and romance to fill his own emotional emptiness.
• He wants to leave his current relationship, but first wants another one waiting in the wings.
• He is insecure about his age (young or old), his looks, his income, etc. He uses the affair or hookup in an attempt to prove his value, and to reassure himself that he is desirable and worthwhile.
• He is bored, overworked, or otherwise feels entitled to get something “special” just for him. He is excited by the mystery and intensity of a secret sexual/romantic life.
• He thinks that as long as no one finds out, he’s not hurting anybody.
• He cheats to retaliate against his spouse for a perceived or actual hurt. He finds an email between his wife and her ex-boyfriend from college, so he hires a prostitute to even the score.
• He has suppressed early trauma such as emotional neglect, physical abuse, or sexual abuse that leaves him unwilling or unable to be entirely faithful to a wife or partner. He strays away from intimacy with his significant other, turning instead to anonymous or intensity-based experiences as a distraction.
• He has unreasonable expectations of what his spouse should offer, expecting her to meet his every single need. When his spouse inevitably fails him, he feels justified in seeking attention elsewhere.
• He undervalues his healthy need to maintain solid, supportive friendships with other men, instead seeking to fulfill unmet emotional needs through sex and affairs.
• He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He is not mature enough to understand the effects that his word, once broken, will have on a loved one.

Truth and Consequences

It can be an incredibly painful experience to learn of a loved one’s cheating. While a man’s infidelity may reflect unaddressed problems in the relationship, it is more likely that he has lifelong challenges with relationship intimacy and deepening commitment—which are the kinds of issues that can often be successfully treated in good couples therapy.

If it turns out the man is a sex or love addict, as many cheaters are, he will need specialized individual treatment as well. Marital and couples counseling can for some turn a relationship crisis into a growth opportunity. Unfortunately, even when experienced therapists are extensively involved with people committed to healing, some couples are unable to ever regain the necessary sense of trust and emotional safety required to make it together. For these couples, therapy can help the two people involved to process a long overdue goodbye.

For All the World to See

It is taboo to have sex in public now.  Isn’t it?  They do have public indecency laws after all, so people aren’t fucking in the streets like animals, as some would decidedly do if the risk wasn’t there.  How many times a year do you read about some couple getting busted for fucking on a balcony of a hotel or an apartment building and many onlookers. Many have the exibitionistic streak in them, there’s no doubt about that.

A parking lot security guard once told me he was always chasing away couples that were fucking standing up against one of the brick walls in the parking lot, and there were used condoms around to prove it on the ground. Pity the person who had to dispose of them..Ick.

The thrill of being seen, of getting caught is half the fun for some of these people. Furtively having hurried sex so you get to cum before someone happens on by and sees you. Then you have the ones that do want to be seen and are doing it totally shamelessly right out in the open without a care in the world. It truly takes all kinds.

I have asked several of my guys where was a risky place they masturbated, and many gave public answers. Under a coat on a bus, under a blanket on a plane, a few have done the deed in libraries. There’s a lot of public sex going on out there! They are around if you look, believe me.

Gay Marriage

What is a common taboo that keeps coming up in the news? Gay marriage. As in should they have the right to be married like “normal” heterosexual people. Well, yes, they should. They are people, they pay taxes, raise families, why should they be denied the right to be legally bound by the vows of marriage if they wish to?

I cannot understand people opposed to this. What people do behind their closed doors if they are consenting adults is of no concern to anyone but the people involved. They are denied benefits, rights, all kinds of things because of this not being legally recognized everywhere. Some states and provinces and countries, only 4% of the world's population as of yet, allow gay marriages.

Pretty sad when people loving each other is considered a taboo, yet it is in most of the world for gay couples that just want the same rights as everyone else. So many people still consider homosexuality taboo in and of itself, let alone allow them to marry and have civil liberties like everyone else.

In many countries they still want to put homosexuals to death, they certainly don’t want them thinking they are the same as anyone else. There should be no “gay marriage”, there should just be marriage for everyone. Gay or straight, just marriage for one, marriage for all.

It’s amazing to me that arranged marriages still exist, which are so restrictive, yet marriage between willing partners is not allowed. I can’t grasp it.

Hey, Little Sister

Have you ever had naughty thoughts about a sibling? Well if you have, you’re not alone. Brother/sister incest is the most common type of incest there is, and it can be consensual. Most obviously want to keep it a secret for many reasons.

Incest of all kinds is a long standing taboo in almost all cultures. In royal families though, marriage between siblings was frequent to maintain the purity of the bloodlines. And even today, worldwide around 20% of all marriages are between cousins.

But this little blog here is about brother/sister incest. Imagine the clandestine excitement of consensual sibling incest in the same house as your parents, trying to avoid getting caught. Trying to avoid being heard, yet wanting to get off with each other as much as possible. Living for the weekends when mom and dad might be away and trust you two to be good alone in the house together. But they of course have no idea that you two will be fucking each others brains out from the time they pull out of the driveway until the key is in the lock to get back in…..

Naughty, dirty, sneaky kids. Worried your friends might find out. Masturbating like fiends when you can’t safely get access to each other, so touching yourselves when you can’t and imagining you’re touching each other. Yes, this is one secret that is best kept between the two of you forever. Not everyone will understand your special bond. There’s nothing like the love of ones own family.

Dead Zone

I think we would all agree a universal taboo would be necrophilia, yet it has gone on since the dawn of time. Even in the days of ancient Egypt and the mummies, ones that had access to the dead, the embalmers and undertakers were known to act inappropriately with the deceased at times. Ones with such an unnatural interest in the dead often gravitated to the funeral industry to get access to the bodies. And as we all know, dead men, and women, tell no tales, so their crimes against the dearly departed are seldom found out.

In many places it is a crime to sexually violate human remains, ranging from a misdemeanor to a felony. There is also porn done with corpses called necrophilia pornography, which obviously was done without consent of the dead ones in the pictures. 

Most necrophiliacs sought a partner that wouldn’t reject them, yeah, I think a dead person can’t really turn them down now, can they now…..Good Lord, there are some disturbed people out there.

Some have not been able to “let go” of a romantic partner and continued having sex with their corpse even after their death. It is a strange topic, and hard for me to understand that someone would do such a thing, yet it’s been going on  for many centuries. As lonely as we might get, I think it’s best to stick to the living or at the very least our own hand or a blow up doll rather than defiling the dead.

Swingers

Many look on the swinging lifestyle as a taboo activity. Many couple have issues with cheating of course, but most that run around on their partner do so behind their partners back.

Ones into swinging are actually being more honest, doing so with their partners permission. But too much honesty isn’t for everyone. Sometimes the illicit, secret fun is half the fun of an affair. If you’re doing it in front of your partners, that aspect of sneaking around on the sly and having your naughty little secret is gone.

Swinging has been around for centuries of course, mainly among intellectuals, and in North America became more widespread on of all places, military bases and spread outward. Since many military men faced an uncertain future due to combat and accidents, they became closer than the average co workers and many times pledged to take care of each others wives should they not return from war. So many military couples bonded as close friends and took things to a deeper level. I can understand how if you never knew if you’d be returning from a mission, perhaps you’d be more apt to engage in pleasures you otherwise might not.

The advent of the birth control pill also gave people a freedom from worry over pregnancy that made them more adventuresome.

There are many swinging clubs today, and many require full blood workups to join ensuring the ones joining are disease free, and regular testing is required as well. Society’s love of monogamy, even though not everyone practices it, makes people that openly swing a bit taboo according to many.

Jungle Fever

Many look at interracial relationships as a taboo. Well, not so much now, but only until very recently have many peoples outlook on this changed.

Even ones that are concerned with appearing politically correct, if it came right down to it, would they be fine if their white daughter brought home a black instead of a white?

Some women prefer black men, since black men can exhibit a confidence some white men can be lacking. And of course there’s the thought that black men have higher sex drives and larger penises to please a woman with. Some white men are looked on as weak. How many white men are wanting to see their women fucked by big, huge, black dicks? According to my callers I get, a good number. I have yet to talk to a black man that wants to see his woman fucked in front of him by a white guy though……

Some white men are just in awe of the physical power some black men have. The sexual prowess. They find it very intimidating, yet arousing to witness.

Many black women are non too thrilled to see the black men so taken wit the white women, since who does that leave them with? It is a point of contention for many black women that white women have taken over “their men”.

Some people will also just be the type to always be attracted to that with is sort of forbidden, something that will attract attention of others and make them be in the spotlight. That is just some peoples nature.

Want Some Cock?

A lot of guys might consider it a sexual taboo to admit they want to suck on another guys cock. And they do NOT consider themselves gay or even bi curious for the most part. Well I can personally tell you, there are a hell of a lot of guys out there who are craving just that.

My job is sort of like a therapist of sorts…..I hear all kinds of secrets, and the most common one I hear is how much many guys want to take a nice, hard, throbbing cock right down their throats.
Not so many into the fucking or being fucked by another guy, though I do hear that as well, but the desire to suck is very strong indeed. I’d say well over 1/3 to 1/2  I talk to want the taboo pleasure of giving a blow job. You would think most would want to GET a blow job, but no, they want to GIVE them instead.

Considering the level of homophobia present in today's society, this common, taboo fantasy really shocked me that it was as prevalent as it is. I was also surprised to hear how many have actually done it, even if it was just a one time thing years ago in their youth, many have indeed experimented and actually sucked cock at some point.

They would for the most part never reveal that to their wives or girlfriends unless they knew she was open minded enough to accept that sort of experimentation in their past, so they carry around their cocksucking encounters as their own little taboo secret.